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Hello babies! It's the reopening of school today, what astonish me was.. everyone was talking about world cup. Today's match at 10pm will be Brazil VS Chile. Majority bet Brazil, minority bet Chile. Well, I'm taking Chile. 2:30am, Spain VS Portugal. Neither am I taking Spain nor Portugal, presume it will be a draw but a prediction for me, it'll be Portugal. Jeers! Felt rather lethargic. My chest, knees & stomach is in agony. I don't know why either, suffocated & I can't breathe, till now. Is my time up ? I'm wondering. Well, school is alright today. Here comes our new maths teacher, he sounds so aunty ? Keeps on nagging. It's getting on my nerves, a pain in the neck. Therefore, just told him off. Cause he said it's a few months to our N' level then why isn't he starting to teach & at the front desk speaks like a pepper mill! God. Whatever. After school, send my wife off to her brother. Back home :]



















The self-destruction, the lies, the disconnection from reality. Like so much else in my life, it was emotionally crushing to learn that, we're beating about the bush. But I blindly turned away. I simply faded out. The conflict between believing what I was now being taught about life to be the truth, I knew to be all too real. And yet I couldn't. I wasn't about to let it all end as simply as that. I couldn't simply move on, and allow the months and months of tears and anguish to have been for nothing. This time my life was really spinning out of control. It was so overpowering that I was literally facing breakdown. I just couldn't discern who I was supposed to be at any given time, or what I was supposed to be doing. As I progressed deeper and deeper into my feelings and emotions, I was also going further and further with the self-destruction. I was proclaiming myself as a "junky loser". My previous thoughts and fears of the bottom falling out of my life eventually came to pass. It was all meaningless.. I'm at my wit's end, but somehow, it's you, it's you the one I've been missing so much over half a year. I miss you.