This is what you said to me: Since this is what you think then I will fulfill what your friends told you. But just remember one thing. I will be back for you no matter what you think. Even you don't love me. Even you hate me. Even you have a new guy. I will fight till the end. No matter what the result may be. Just wait and see. Could I trust you ? Easier said than done. How can I entrust you ? You didn't wanna hear my voice, so I guess you're the one whose beating about the bush ? Have I ever think for you ? You said you have no friends, all of them betrayed you just by having thoughts on me. And didn't told you so. My friends are downhearted by seeing the way you treated me. Crying endlessly. You're the only man whom I gave my everything. It takes two hands to clap, it requires work & compromises to maintain a good relationship. Kenneth, let me tell you this. Let them have thoughts about me. I don't care. I don't have feelings for them. To be a little exaggerating, I'm attractive, maintained a well-figured body. Those guys out there are just lusting for desire of sex. I've met guys which are much more far better than you, they cared endlessly. Who you are, it's still you. Who are they, it's their business. I can't open up my love to anyone else, but you. Guess you're oblivious of it. You said you would fight for me, & now you contradict the fact that you want to let nature takes it's course. So who are you trying to kid with ? Perhaps, I'm happy with my life now. We'll see how the situation goes. All those horrible, hurtful memories came back. I tried to convince myself that I was able to keep them in check, literally, I couldn't. Those memories & emotions haunted me, condemned me. In my sleeps, all throughout the day and even when I was stoned out of my mind. I was constantly having to force them away. I was unfit to give advices to those who were dejected, cause I myself could not as well. I wanted something that would take this horrid feelings away. I wanted somewhere to go where I didn't have to think about it, or think about anything. The hallucinations of you and my reckless state of mind, combined with and oncoming paranoia, left me paralysed. That day, that instant, I repeatedly kept on looking at my phone. Hoping you would give an foresee answer, an reply. But to my dismal, you contradicted. I miss you.

*Constantly, 11:11, this time keeps on appearing on my phone . God, are you willing to give me an answer ? Would you mind, stop hinting me & stop playing with me with numbers. Could you ?