It requires work & compromise to maintain a good relationship.

Since you've been gone.. Every morning I wake up looking myself in the mirror with a pair of puffy eyes. I look into the mirror hoping to find my smile. But it was nowhere to be found. When I try to think just where it might be, I can't help but wonder. If maybe you know where I left my smile, 'cause the last time I saw it, I was with you.'

It has been months and months, I was able to control the desires and the feelings of failure, once I understood what caused those feelings. It had been nothing more than a lack of understanding, and a lack of desire to understand. Remember I vowed to myself I'm not gonna cry anymore for any reasons ? I'm sorry. I broke it. I just don't know how to get on with my life without you. I broke down, you've not faded into memories. I believe, it was all in my reality. I was adamant about being optimistic that you would be back one day, still. I am being stuck at where I am now, not able to move on. I knew that over time I had to force myself to erase the pain. I was now living on what I was being told, and had the luxury of not knowing if what I'm doing was right or not. Inside, I was crushed. Where were you when everything was crashing down upon me ? Where were you when I needed you ? Where were you when I was upset crying like a newborn baby, choking yourself & felt breathless ? Where were you when I've gotten myself wounded ? Just where were you ? I had struggled with the anguish all my life & facing it. It just ate at me that you was able to get yourself off the hook so easily and walk away from it all, while I spent every waking seconds trying to understand. Overwhelmed with a sense of loss, I lay there and cried. I was out of control again, I was afraid of myself. And I had no idea that I could go as far as I did. Looking back, I cant believe I was stupid enough to go back to it. I was out of my mind. My health was on a rapid downhill slide, often, I can't breathe. I had a reputation for causing severe and permanent damage to myself and everyone around me. I was busted. I was vague about what I really want in life. Those devilish pain falling down on me, I made up my mind, taking my windbreaker, I ran out of house.. Ran out in the rain, those beautiful gentle raindrops fall to wash away my pain. I was trying to understand everything positively once again, I did it. I ran & ran, till I was out of breath. Finally, I smiled in the rain. It was perfect..

Twitter Updates