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As I'm writing this down post for you, in my hours of weakness, merciless tears coming out from my heart unbearably. Making you choke every now & than. Overwhelmed with greatest fear what you've got to say up next, when you said you wanted me to be happy to move on with guys whose worthy of my love than you. You guard me from everything, from harm. A sense of assurance that you still love me, you cared & give me your ultimate concern. & to actually see if the guy is up to my standard, whether his internal were as good as you said. It's fucking heartrending when you sit right beside me & I can't have you. You said you don't want me to bear hardships. Unconditional love, I'm all ready & utmost willingly to go through it with you. The surrounded souls around me, including you might think I'm a wit, girls wouldn't go for hardships with guys. Why are you such a fucking fool to endure hardships with a guy. Initially, this is called love. LOVE! FUCKING GET IT ?! NOT OUT OF SYMPATHY! I know it makes you dissatisfy to see me bearing the destitution with you. But when you fucking said you didn't want me to live with you do you think it'll be happy for me ? Fuck you very much! You said I never tried to open my whole heart to someone, substantially, I goddamn it fucking did! I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN MY EMOTIONS ARE JUST APPEARS TO BE SO OBVIOUS. THE WHOLE WORLD JUST CAME CRASHING ME DOWN, THE FUCKING WHOLESOME PRESSURE JUST CAME ON ADDING & ADDING & FUCKING ADD! EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A FUCKING REASON, IT'S JUST TOO RAPIDLY! I'M LITERALLY FACING A FUCKING BREAK DOWN. YOU SAID YOU UNDERSTAND ME, DO YOU FUCKING DID ? I KNOW YOU FUCKING CARE FOR ME, YOU WANTED ME TO HAVE THE FUCKING BEST. IF THIS IS WHAT THAT MAKES YOU FUCKING HAPPY, FOR YOU & ME. BUT FUCK, HAVE YOU FUCKING CONSIDER ABOUT MY FUCKING EMPATHY ?! HAVE YOU ?! I WANTED YOU SO BADLY. BUT I KNOW THINGS ARE NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME EVER AGAIN. YOU FUCKING SAID THIS IN THE PAST, YOU AND I: THROUGH WEAKNESS & STRENGTH, HAPPINESS AND SORROW, FOR BETTER FOR WORSE, WHETHER BE IT RICH OR POOR, I'LL STILL STAY BY YOUR SIDE. YOU FUCKING SAID WE'LL OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLES, WE CAN GO THROUGH THIS PHASE TOGETHER. NO MATTER HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS! WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING VOW ?! WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING PROMISE ?! SO YOU'RE FUCKING DECEIVING ME NOW ?! FUCK EVERYTHING, JUST FUCK IT! GODDAMN IT! LET NATURE TAKE IT'S COURSE. NOTHING IS GONNA FUCKING AFFECT ME, I'LL JUST FUCKING PUT EVERYTHING ASIDE & GET MY MIND FOCUS ON MY FUCKING N LEVELS! I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE YOU REQUESTED FOR! I FUCKING WILL! GET IT ?! FUCK! FUCK MY LIFE, JUST FUCK IT! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!